Unwanted Gift No. 1: Counsel Yourself Lucky
We are told that it costs exactly the same as a night out in the West to provide ten counselling sessions to someone with HIV/AIDS in Africa, offering them a shoulder to cry on, if you will. But to think that providing a shoulder to cry on will make a big difference to some of the poorest people in the world – in this case to those who are living with life-threatening diseases – is an absolute insult.
In fact, it marks an all-time low in Western NGOs’ pitiful and paternalistic approach to helping people in the developing world. People, anywhere, living with HIV/AIDS no doubt have times when a shoulder to cry on is welcome. This they may get from a family member or friend, or perhaps a friendly doctor or nurse. For people in the West it may come in the form of counselling. But have people in the developing world living with HIV/AIDs asked or campaigned for therapeutic intervention from the West? Of course not. This isn’t an idea borne out of any understanding of, or solidarity with, the reality of people’s lives. Instead it is asking us to protect these poor people, to offer some small amount of hope and refuge from the terrible consequences of poverty, rather than working to get rid of these hardships.
So let’s stop buying into this politics of pity that views Africans as children in need of a mum and dad who can wipe away the tears. Instead let’s get off the couch and stand in solidarity for what our peers actually want.